“The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain. It’s the loneliness of it. Memories need to be shared.” ― Lois Lowry, The Giver
Elementary school was one of my favorite childhood memories. There were negative moments but the positive memories always stood out the most. Looking back at it, I can see how a small school in Pulaski Wisconsin shaped me to be who I am today. Glenbrook elementary 2013, my very first day of kindergarten. My parents recall me being so excited and nervous to walk into the building. I was always a shy kid and was very overwhelmed meeting all of my class, the class that I would one day graduate with. In elementary school I found my love for music. I was in piano and while my piano teacher was very intimidating I loved being able to play. At Christmas concerts I always got to play the xylophone and I loved it. Along with music, I also found a love for learning. I was always exceptional in school. Math was my favorite subject, I always loved that there was a right answer. I was always ready to help my friends in class understand it better. I never struggled with making friends in school. Even though I had many friends and was good at school, I found myself struggling to be brave. I could not get lunch alone, I could not be alone at recess without crying and I definitely could not try something new. With all of this information my 3rd grade teacher made me visit my guidance counselor. We talked about why I felt scared in school and why I was so nervous. Honestly, I did not know why I felt that way. She helped teach me coping mechanisms to be less anxious at school. One included us making essential oil bracelets. I wore mine until the string frayed and eventually snapped. Over the next 2 years of elementary school I felt less anxious. I had many fun experiences in elementary school and I wish I had not wished away that time so quickly.
Pulaski middle school 2019, first year of middle school. The truth about middle school is that it is awful. That truth stood very strong for me. I was an anxious awkward 12 year old. I had colorful hair, strange outfits, and I loved the arts. While others may have seen me as strange, I had very few friends who were just like me. The social aspect of middle school was the only reason I truly made it through. In the middle of my 6th grade year, we were informed that our school would be going on a 2 week leave. I was in my Spanish class when this announcement was sent out. We were advised to take all of our belongings home. I never got to clear out my locker. I did not quite understand what was happening because to me it felt like a 2 week vacation where I could just hangout with my friends. A few middle of the week sleepovers later, we were informed we would not be returning to school. I was sad, to tell the truth. I was going to join the musical and I was already in book club. It was disappointing leaving those activities behind. Virtual learning did me no good. Every online class felt like a FaceTime. We never really did anything to learn. I would join the meets and do the homework but I never truly got a middle school education. By the time I was in 8th grade we were back to in person learning. No masks were required this time. I looked around at everyone I had been going to class with my whole life and they all looked so different. With 8th grade came new opportunities. I finally got to sign up for a musical and enjoy being in choir. I was so excited for something that the grades above me had so easily. When I think about middle school, Covid is not the first thing I think about. It is my friends, my clubs, and learning. I am not sure if I would be different if Covid did not happen. I do know I ended middle school still awkward, and still a theater kid.
Pulaski High School 2022, finally in high school. I felt as though that day could not come soon enough. I was excited to get involved, the school flooded with opportunities and I wanted to do all of them. It took 4 years, but by the end of high school I had done 2 years on the golf team, 6 plays, 4 musicals, 4 years of student council, 3 years of Hope Squad, 4 years of A-capella, 4 years of show choir, 3 years of choir council, 4 years of Forensics, 3 years of broadcasting (WBA) and I was a member of the music honor society. A lot can happen 4 years and I made sure of it. Grades were never my biggest worry and I never found myself really caring about them. I always had a feeling I would graduate just fine and I believe It is because I was not alone. I found people who cared about me. With many friends also came people who did not want to watch me succeed. I had 1 person in my life who made it difficult to see that I was good enough and that I was worth the praise I received from others, especially during theater and music. They made it difficult to believe I was talented or skilled enough to make it where I was. I would practice my music every single night. I would lock down my notes and rhythms, so I felt good enough. Fall concert, jazz concert, winter concert, musical, solo & ensemble, jazz concert, spring concert. My senior year was loaded with music. I learned countless pieces of music. I felt alone trying to map out all of music and balance out my other extracurriculars. I felt pushed by the pressure of those around me who felt as though music came easy to me. It felt empowering trying to prove that person wrong. I had succeeded in all of my concerts and competitions and it was because of the few friends that believed in me, especially myself. Even now, I accept music like a challenge. It is one my favorite things to learn and I would not be here if I did not find my love for music back in elementary school. Elementary school helped shape me to be the successful person I am today. I am so thankful to everyone in the school district who saw us as people and not just students.
To: My Elementary Guidance Counselor, Elementary Music Teacher, and High School Director,
Thank you, for believing in me. – Leatrice D.
“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.”
